Is my way really that bad?

Do you dish out punishments or rewards to those around you? I have been taking a closer look at my interactions with those around me for the past few days and I was so surprised to see how often I unconsciously punish or reward someone for their actions. On the flip side I was able to see how often I was punished or rewarded by others. What effect does that have one me? I think there are different effects on me when I am the one giving the punishments or rewards verses when I am the one getting them.

I have seen that when I am the one giving the punishment or reward it is usually out of pride. I know that sounds bad, but it true. When I am looking to punish someone for doing something I don’t agree with it seems to stem from the pride within me that my thoughts or beliefs are more correct than theirs and that they should do things the way I think they should be done. On the other hand, when I reward someone for something I liked that they did it was out of that same pride. I like people to do what I would do and sometimes have a hard time seeing things from another person’s perspective.

I think we all unconsciously or consciously punish and reward people every day. We need to be careful what kind of messages we send to people when we do that. I have decided this week to try my best to look at things from others perspectives and not always think things have to be done my way. I have a commitment for myself and anyone that reads this. Tomorrow I am going to try to write down every time I notice that I am consciously or unconsciously punishing or rewarding someone and then for the rest of the week try to be do it at least 10% less every day. I’m not sure how well this will work, but I will let you know. 

Start With Yourself

Life is hard. I don’t think this is a new concept to any of you out there. Families can sometimes be the cause and other times be part of the cure. One of the hardest things about life is other people. We have to learn how to work with others in all aspects of life. Families are a great place to practice these skills. The family will be put into situations of great stress. There will be times when it will be hard for the parents to see how they can make ends meet or there can be times when a parent and a child just can seem to see eye to eye. When dealing with things like this the first thing we need to remember is that we can’t change other people, we can change ourselves and what we think and feel. When those times in life come that seem to be really difficult I want you to first remember this will take time. Rome wasn’t built in a day and a new mindset won’t be either. One thing that always helps me when dealing with other people is to look at them and focus on their strengths instead of their weaknesses. Focusing on the positive makes things so much better. People will always be doing things you wouldn’t or in a way that is different than you would. My advice to you would be to talk things out with people in an open and loving way. Start and end with love. If you go into a situation saying you do this and you do that and I’m in the right here, how open do you think the other person will be to changing. If you go into the situation saying here is what I am working on and I want to make this work and I care about you and our relationship. Start with yourself and things will be better. 

Culturing the family

Something that I'm sure we've all noticed is that every family is very different. I love how each family has their own quirks and funny things that they do. Since I have moved away from home I have been able to see many other families and I think I now have a better understanding of just how unique my family really is. I love my family so much! I think I have said this in a post before, but I come from a family with 6 kids. During my childhood there was hardly ever a dull moment around my house. Someone was always going somewhere and there was a constant hum of chatter. This past week I decided to play Betty Crocker and make some homemade rolls and cinnamon rolls. I used my mom's bread receipt and was pleasantly surprised by all the memories that came from the smell of the dough. As I reflected on all those good times I had growing up I couldn't help but be grateful for the situation I was born into. Some families go through so much. My mom can from a family where they struggled to put food on the table. I was so blessed to never have to worry where my next meal was coming from. My parents have both been very supportive of my and my siblings over the years. I can not imagine how hard it would be to not have your parents as active participants in your life. In one of my classes this week we were talking about how difficult it can be for families to immigrate from one country to another. Often times one of the family members (usually the father) leaves before the others to set things up in their new home. It must be so hard to go for a time without having your father home. I am so grateful for my dad and all that he does for me. He has played a huge role in my life and I know I would be a very different person if it weren't for him and the influence he has had on me. What do you think would be different in your life if your family had to live under different circumstances?

Family Connections

I love it when you skip a rock across the surface of a body of water that is otherwise smooth. The places where the rock touches the water become the epicenter for ripples. These ripples don't just happen for a second and then go away. They tend to last for a minute or two and emanate from the center out toward the shore. Ripples are a great way of thinking about what happens to people when they interact. Let's think about a family for a minute. If the mom of this family experiences some even that causes her to become upset and frustrated, do you think the rest of the family is going to be affected by it? You bet they will! The old phrase "if mom's not happy no one is happy" hits the nail right on the head. The entire family will feel the ripple effect from that one event even though they were not directly involved. I think it is so interesting to ponder about how our lives affect those around us. The choices we make everyday, every moment will affect someone. That is a little intimidating to think about isn't it? I don't want you to get too wrapped up in this I just wanted to open your eyes to the possibility you have to effect the lives of others. Try to think twice tomorrow about the things you do or say. They may have a long lasting effect on the life of someone else.

What is a Family?

The subjects of marriage and family have been in the news quite a bit lately. I feel like the topic often gets heated and people everywhere are being forced to pick side. What does it mean to be a family and what makes a family successful? Many people have strong opinions on the matter, so I guess I will weigh in as well. I believe this quote from https://www.lds.org/topics/family-proclamation?lang=eng sums up my beliefs about marriage and family pretty well, “marriage between a man and a woman is ordained of God and that the family is central to the Creator’s plan for the eternal destiny of His children.” I believe that one of the main reason we are here on earth is to have a family.

If you haven’t already guessed I am a Christian who firmly believes in God. I think that God got it right when He created both man and woman. I think that it takes one of each to create the optimal family situation. I know life can bring other things your way and no family is perfect, but I think a family that has both a mother and a father actively participating in the family is most likely to be successful. 

Intro.

Hello Everyone,

My name is Gwynne. I am from a small town in New Hampshire. The reason I am starting this blog to discuss things that I will be learning in my Family Relations class that I am taking at school. I am a big believer in the importance of families and am excited to post about what I am learning. I am the fifth out of six kids in my family and absolutely love them. I hope that the things I write will give you the opportunity to reflect on your own beliefs about the family and its importance. Thanks for taking the time to read this.